As of this moment I am in the process of procuring legal complaint against my husband whose philandering I could not take anymore. We are not in good terms for over a year. We have not had a communication since then aside from a text from me reminding him of his monthly obligation. Yes, I have to text him of that. He on the other hand doesn’t text me back. He’s not even asking for his children’s status. This is just one of the reasons why I am now taking steps on how to legalize our separation. This is not an easy task believe me! Because aside from the fact that I don’t want to broadcast to everybody that I have a failed marriage but also I don’t want to feel embarrassed because of the situation I am into.
I know us women only want a perfect relationship but as the saying goes “there is no perfect in this world”. So here comes the annulment, separation, divorce, etc. etc…
When I decided to take actions against my EX, I am glad I have friends around me telling me that I can do this. If not for them, I would willow into limbo. Of course they too are not experienced on this stuff, so all they can give me is support and their presence which I appreciate very much.
On this note, I would like to take this opportunity to write down the milestones about my journey to freedom (legally) and hopefully would turn into fruitful path.
First Step, ask Google, Yahoo, Bing, etc.
Before taking any action you might want to ask Google first or any other search engine you know and see what it will show you. Just a reminder though, you have to be ready to read several articles. Google will give you many search result, you might click everyone of it but sometimes it will not give you the answer. Searching the net will give you at least an idea; again as I said an idea but not the step by step procedure.
Second, ask help from the expert
When I say expert this means asking for the opinion of a legal adviser which is none other than a LAWYER. This one comes hard on me because the day I finally decided to take legal action it falls on Friday. I had a hard time looking for an available one; it was around 5:30 P.M. after office hours almost all of the offices that I went into were either closed already or only the lawyer’s assistant is there. So the thing was, I’ve asked a lawyer thru text which is not also a good strategy for me since I feel the answer is somewhat lacking or so I thought. At the end of our conversation, the lawyer advised me to ask PAO. On my mind I said “what the heck is PAO? and what it does?”
So for those who are experiencing this, PAO is short for Public Attorney’s Office is a government body designated to help people that are victims of crime. It specializes in helping victim women may it be physical, emotional, or economic abuse (otherwise known as financial abuse or financial support).
When the lawyer said I should go to PAO, I am hesitant at first because I’m not sure if PAO could help. So Monday comes, and still I am not sure what to do. I don’t know where to turn to; I am actually in limbo at this time. Eventually, I decided to go to DFA (Department of Foreign Affairs) to file a complaint there. When I reached DFA, I went to OUMWA department (Office of the Undersecretary for Migrant Workers Affairs). On the information booth, the person in charge gave me a paper to fill up. After that, she informed me that since my problem is a domestic one, all they can do was transmit my complaint to the company of my husband and wait for the reply 2 to 3 weeks. I did not go back to them to follow up on the report though.
After DFA, I went straight to our municipal branch; this is where PAO is located. Every municipality has PAO department. But unfortunately on my case, I don’t know if God is testing my patience because when I went to General Trias Municipal (I live in Cavite), the personnel in PAO told me that our Public Attorney is located in Trece Martires City. So I boarded a jeep going to Trece Martires. Fortunately when I arrived in Trece, there are no other customers but me; it was around 3:00 PM. They pointed me to one of the lawyers on duty and there I narrated my story about my problem with my husband.
The lawyer in-charge told me that if I file a complaint now this will mean my husband will be put in jail at once. I don’t want to be that bad so I’ve decided to file mediation procedure instead. Mediation is where both parties are called to talk things over in a more civil way. I only wanted to talk to him and clear things out because he is hiding from us, me and his children. He was in the Philippine for a 2 weeks’ vacation from work.
You know what the ironic part is? The date I file the mediation was our 12 year wedding anniversary, July 9.
We are scheduled to meet on July 13, Friday (ooohhh Friday the 13th 🙂 ). He did not appear because he immediately took off Thursday and go back to Singapore. That’s when I decided to file a legal complaint against him under RA 9262.
Atty-in-charge gave me a list of requirement I need to complete. Of the list, there is only one document I need to produce and it was the certificate of Indigency which I can get in our barangay office. So I told the attorney that I will come back as soon as I’ve completed the requirement.
Below are the lists she gave to me
Certificate of Indigency
Birth Certificate (for our children)
Narration (this is the story of our married life)
Evidence/picture (proof of my husband’s philandering, fortunately I was able to get it thru his YM profile)
Finally, the complaint
At last, I’ve completed all the requirements! Honestly, I feel exhausted, drained, tired, beat up with all the activity I have done from filing of mediation down to completion of the requirement. I even considered of not continuing with it because I thought “why go all these trouble? Why not let bygones be bygones? Let him be free and be happy with his new life?”
But then again, when I look at my children I felt I need to do this. I HAVE TO DO IT. Not for me, not for my husband, but for the sake of the two most precious to me my CHILDREN.
Follow me as I go thru my journey to freedom the legal way and watch out for the part 2 of my next journey (the court procedure)